Happy Birthday Whitegirl

Let's hope that you check your blogspot before the end of the day. Because if you don't, you'll be bitching to me the next day about how I forgot your birthday and whatnot. Well guess what! I didn't forget. It's quite easy to remember if you do the math right. ;) Thank you for being such a magnificent friend after all these years. You're my only A-town friend I have left. LOL - Enjoy today and I wish you the best on your special little day. Happy Birthday, Tammy.


- Meng Yang

Can't A Guy Wish?

Can't a guy wish that he would find someone? Can't he wake up one morning and say "maybe today's the day I run into her?" Can't he wish for a fairy tale story and a Hollywood ending? Guys, we're taught by society to be tough, strong, and show no emotion. We're not suppose to be into all the lovey dovey stuff. We're supposed to be stubborn and not give a damn. And in many cases, that's exactly what we are. We're tough on the outside to show masculinity, and we show no emotion unless we're in competition with other guys. If a guy shows a soft side than other guys will judge him. As a matter of fact, both the guys and girls will judge him. "Oh he's a pussy." "He's a faggot, and he's soft, I'd never go for him." Face the facts, every guy wishes what is said in the beginning of this paragraph. Just like how every girl wishes too. So let's wish together, and wake up saying, "maybe today's the day." And let's bump into each other, somewhere, some place, at the same time. A guy can sure wish, can't he?

- Meng Yang

I'm not good at this.

I'm not good at this.

I apologize before hand if I do not call you or text you back. Don’t be angry at me if it seems like I’ve lost interest, because I probably have. Don’t hate me if I talk to other girls. Believe me when I say that I’m not doing this on purpose. My commitment to a person is not reliable. I don’t have plans to get close to you, if I do, then that’s just how it’s drawn up. I can’t do relationships and I don’t do relationships. I’m just not good at this. So before we get involved in whatever we’re involved in, I would just like to say I’m sorry. I’m not good at this.

This Country We Call Home

I'm proud to be an American, proud and privileged to live in the land of the free and the home of the brave. Don't get me wrong, I love the United States of America, the country where you can dream of anything and achieve it. Truly, America is the most magnificent land in the world, but what’s wrong with the people existing in it?

How can America live up to what they said on paper when the rights of so many are not brought to justice? In my mass communications class, my professor showed us the video of “Hide yo kids, hide yo wife,” and we analyzed it. It has come to my attention that the people of America love making fun of other people, it’s nothing new. Did the video gain popularity because it was an exciting news story? No, it gained popularity because the people behind the scenes thought that a gay African American male would be amusing. They were right, it became an internet phenomenon.

So ask yourself this question America, what’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with us? A sexual crime is committed and the entire country laughs at the situation. Sure, the videos are funny. I’d be the first to say it, but what’s wrong with a country that finds an act of sexual violence and a flamboyant male amusing? In a country that does not even support the right for same sex marriages; are we really the land of the free? Who’s to tell someone how to love? I guess America has the authority to. So in the words of the great Dr. Martin Luther King, “America, be true to what you said on paper.”

If Mirrors Didn't Exist

Have you ever thought about just waking up, doing your morning routine, and just go out to start your day? No make-up, no fancy shoes and no fancy clothes. Don’t even look in the mirror. Our society is blinded by the fact that we have to always look good or look our best. We want to impress people we don’t know and people we don’t like. That’s why we buy name-brand clothing, shoes, purses, etc. That’s why we praise the people who have the most expensive stuff and that is why we’re so insecure about ourselves.

Everyone always wants to be the hottest thing on the scene. They want everyone to recognize them and compliment them. Basically the truth is, we buy everything we buy to get noticed. We go out to the clubs and bars to get noticed. Dressing to impress a crowd of horny people. We criticize how others dress and sadly we hate on them too. Why? Because we can and because the mirrors made us that way. You want to live a happy life? Cut your mirror time in half. The flaws we see in the mirror are the flaws only we can see. We see them because we have spent too much time looking at the mirror. Majority of the time you’re fighting against the mirror. The only way to beat it is to not fight at all.


- Meng Yang

Time Traveling

Dear Meng The Adult,

This is Meng The teen. I just thought that I'd write you a letter discussing the big move that you're about to make. It's been 17 long years. We've had some fun, and we've had some struggles. Actually, we've had a lot more struggles than we had fun. I'm just reminding you that, no matter how hard the next step gets, you need to face the music and give it everything you have. There's a reason why and how I got to where I am right now. I never gave up, even when everyone was against me, and I mean everyone. I know there are 6 billion people out there, but no one, and I mean no one has a bigger heart than I do. I only hope that it grows even bigger when it's with you. I also want to remind you that having fun is manageable. Don't forget to have those crazy weekends where you don't remember anything. Don't forget to show some love to the real people who matter in your life, and never ever forget who you are. This is it man, this your chance to show everyone who's ever doubted you that you are more than just an average person. Ten years from now, I hope I can recognize you.


Sincerely, Meng Yang - 17
March 8, 2009

Take The Lead

I've always wondered how a leader becomes a leader. When I was younger I used to always be the follower. I never even wanted to be a leader. I just went with the flow and did what all the other kids did. I followed. I would have friends that always got to pick teams. It was like they were always the captain and we were just there for them to choose from. I thought about wanting to be in that position one day, well one day far far from that particular day. I never was able reach it in grade school. No one saw me as a leader. No one respected me as a leader and no one cared what I had to say. So I didn't say anything at all. I kept to myself and I kept all my ideas inside my head. When were the ideas going to be let out? I didn't know at time. I wasn't a leader and I knew it.

It wasn't until I started middle school that I really wanted to become a leader. To be honest I just wanted to be the leader so I could impress girls and get them to notice me. It's kind of stupid but that was one of the reasons I wanted to become a leader. Not entirely did I want to just impress the ladies. My brother has always been a leader and I looked up to him. When he spoke, people listened. My father is also a leader. The President of the Yang Clan to be exact. He was the most fearless leader I know. I looked up to him and wanted to be like him. More importantly I wanted him to know that his son was a leader and not just a follower.

My leadership started when I got into HmoobTeen Magazine. Believe it or not the magaazine has developed me into a leader. I would not be where I am today if it was not for HmoobTeen. They molded me and built me to be a leader and I am grateful for that.....To Be Continued.

Untitled

What makes you ugly isn't your face, it's the person behind that face.

- Meng Yang

We

I'll do whatever it takes to win games, whether it's sitting on a bench waving a towel, handing a cup of water to a teammate, or hitting the game-winning shot. ---Kobe Bryant

We can sit here and tell ourselves that this is the best we will get. We can talk about the game and how we'll change. We can blame each other for why everything is going wrong. We can rumor about quitting, giving up, not willing to try anymore. We can walk away from the game and just be homiez. Yeah, we can do all of these things. Better yet, we've already done most of these things.

We can stop playing as individuals and start playing as a team. There comes a time in a person's life when he doesn't want to be second best or just another person anymore. Achieving first can't be done alone. It can't be done with selfishness, stubborness, or a lack of confidence. We're not in a movie, we all can't be heroes. But ironically we all can be the villian. Either we come together as a unit, or this is as far as we will go. In the words of Al Picino. "Either we heal now, as a team, or we will die, as individuals." On a final note, I'll leave you all with some wise words from The Rock, "Know Your Role."




- Meng Yang

Join The Movement

If you haven't joined the movement, you better hop on. Far East Movement, the first Asian-American group to hit it big in America, has hit it real BIG. I am overjoyed with enthusiasm and excitement for these guys. I had a chance to meet them all about two years ago at the Hmong New Year when they came to Minnesota and performed. They were all super cool, down to Earth, and real. They joked, laughed, and interacted with all their fans. At the time I heard a few of their songs, mostly the ones with Jin but I would never imagine that they would be an overnight sensation.

Just like how America elected President Barack Obama, race was not an issue anymore. FM, an all Asian group has made it big in the music industry which is predominately Caucasian and Black. With their success flying sky high like a G6, they are the foundation for Asian-American artists. I knew FM would be successful, but I did not expect them to blow up so fast. With the likes of Jin failing to top the charts, I thought they would too suffer the same fate, but I was wrong. FM has gone Platinum and words cannot explain how happy I am for these guys. It's a historic week for Asian-Americans everywhere and I'm glad I was a part of it. Three Fingers Up!

I Refuse

I refuse to talk to you, get to know you, or take you on a date. I refuse to text you, Facebook you, or telegraph you. It's not that I'm not into you, because most likely I am. I'm just a good human being. I refuse to let you in my life. Why? Because I refuse to use you. I don't want to use you. If I let you walk into my life, it would feel like I am using you. I refuse to be the people who use innocent people as rebounds. I refuse to be the heartless, inconsiderate, evil, manipulating, pathetic human beings that some people are. I cannot allow you to go through what so many others have gone through and I cannot allow myself to move on when I know I am not ready. I hope you understand why I refuse to see you, talk to you, or be with you. I'm just being a good human being.

The Old

Sometimes I wish my interests would never change. I wish I was still into cartoons, graphic t-shirts with my favorite wrestlers on them, velcro shoes, shopping with my mom, and many other things. As we grow up and find new interests, we lose the ones that have given us the best memories. I can only speak for myself, but damn I miss the old times. The times that staying in on a Friday or Saturday night was the plan. The times when alarm clocks were your favorite cartoon shows in the morning. The times when bikes and your legs were the only source of transportation. The times when a 20 dollar bill made me feel rich and when money wasn't everything. I didn't even see my interests change in front of my eyes and now I miss them like crazy.

What happened to the old? It didn't seem like much back then, but now it means the world to me. Having fun used to be so effortless and easy. Now everyone needs a drink, a blunt or pills to have a good time. Not the old though, the old didn't need any of that. The old was innocent, pure, and obnoxious. But it's called "The Old" for a reason and all I can do is simply reminisce about it. So I raise my glass to The Old, and bid you a fine farewell. To the old moments and to the new old.


- Meng Yang

Into the Future

My alarm clock sounds. It's 8AM and time for work. I wake up, alone in my two bedroom apartment on the 21st floor. I check my phone; a couple messages from my girlfriend. It's the middle of November and I'm freezing. With no shirt on, I snatch up my blanket and wrap it around me like a robe. I walk towards the bathroom with the blanket dragging behind me. Do my morning routine and get dressed for work. Today's going to be the grey suit and black tie. Plain and simple. I walk into the kitchen and take a moment to look at my spectacular view of New York City from the 21st floor. Sometimes I glance forever because the view is so Magnificent. It's lightly snowing today and the Christmas spirit seems to be in the air. Still staring out into the city, I snap back into focus; have a quick bowl of Fruit Loops and out the door I go.


I work about six blocks away so I just walk to work. Hundreds of people fill the streets of New York City and that's just the way I like it. The temperature is about 40 degrees Fahrenheit and I love it. The snow, the cool blustery wind that slaps your face, the ugly slush on the side of the roads, and all the Christmas decorations. This is my kind of city. It takes me about 20 minutes to get to work. I work on the intensely busy street of 8th Ave. The building is massive and I didn't get used to it for quite a while. I get to my office and it's hectic, like it always is, but today it seems a bit more chaotic. Some thing big must have happened last night or earlier this morning. I head over to my desk and try to begin work, but Whitney, a long time friend of mine from college starts telling me about her relationship problems. I listen, nod my head, and give her some advice. I'm no love doctor but it seems like they all come to me for advice. I don't mind it though, as a matter of fact, I enjoy it.

Anyway, I turn my computer on and start my assignment from the previous day. I'm writing an article about dreams. It's about a kid from Minnesota who dreamed of becoming a journalist for a national newspaper. Everyone laughed at him, thought his writing would never take him anywhere, and thought his dream was impossible. I'm working on the ending as of right now and I think know exactly what to write.

"The ending of his story is answered above." (Scroll up to the beginning.)





- Meng Yang

I Can't Read

So I recently found out that I can't read. You heard me right, I can't read for shit. Hard to believe right? All this time I thought of myself as a pretty good reader. I believed I was ahead of my class in reading, but it turns out that I'm not. I suck at it. Like real bad too. When did I find out? Last month. How did I find out? I just realized. Sometimes you just have so much stuff going on in your head that you finally figure something out and it makes total sense. The light bulb lights up and there you go with the realization. So since I can't read, it looks like I'll be starting all over again. First off I have to sound it out, think to myself if what I read is what it really is. Then I have to make sure what I read is the truth. I've been away from the game for a long time, so I can't really blame anyone but myself. I'm going to try my best to re-learn how to read and get back to my old form. It's a sad thing to take in, but I just can't read women anymore.


-Meng Yang

What a Man Wants & What a Man Needs

How can you tell when a girl is wrong for you? It's simple. If the only reason you're spending quality time with a girl is because of her physical attributes, she's wrong for you. If you are unable to conduct a mature and decent conversation with her, she's wrong for you. If all you do is think about getting her naked, she's wrong for you. (I'm talking relationship wise, not booty-call wise.) If at anytime when you're with her and you think about another girl you wish you could be with right then; it's a dead giveaway, she's wrong for you. And the most obvious reason she might be wrong for you is when you're already questioning if she's wrong for you.

There are two types of women that men are interested in. The first type I like to call, "Easy Access." Meaning the girls are easy and are around for one reason only. This is the type of girl that men love. Well, for that particular moment. Men aren't interested in developing a serious relationship with these girls, but they sure do love to have them around. It's simple, "Easy Access" girls are not Mrs. Right but they are Mrs. Right Now. They're what a man wants.

The second type of women that men are interested in are the ones I like to call, "No Bullshit Girls'."(NBS Girls) They are the type of women who know what they want in life and are dedicated to what they are doing. They don't take no bullshit from any man. They have big dreams and they're going to reach them with or without a man. They can survive without a man's existence but prefer not to. They're the ones that are worth every second of the chase and the ones that can drive a man delusional. NBS Girls are the type that a man wants to actually listen to. A man actually wants to know about their day and what they did, not just to get lucky that night. Men want to develop a long and lasting relationship with this type of woman and a man will put his chips on the table and go all in. These women are the women men will play for keeps with. (Like playing Pokemon, you either play for fun, or you play for keeps.) There's just something about NBS women that a man will alter his universe for. They're the ones worth every second of a man's time and they are what a man needs.

- Meng Yang

Waking Up

She goes through her day like nothing's happened. She doesn't talk about it and her friends don't bring it up. During the day she's happy and moving forward. It seems like nothing can get in her way. She goes to parties and loves the single life. Guys all around her, wanting to be with her, but she smoothly plays it off and continues her new single life. She can't get attached again, she's learned her lesson. A fragile heart that once peaked for a small moment is back in the vault, not trusting a soul.

Her days are full of smiles and laughter. Her nights are exhausting so she has no trouble falling asleep. But her mornings are different. When she wakes up, it's not happiness she feels, and it's not what she wants to feel. Every morning when she wakes up; she misses him. Like nothing in the world matters. She spends most of her mornings in bed just thinking. It hurts because he's gone and all she has left is the "miss" in the morning. Every morning her mornings are bad, never good. She wakes up and goes on with her days, her nights, and her mornings. The cycle goes on.

She parties, she flirts, she enjoys herself. Her days are full and her nights are joyous. She falls asleep with no trouble but she has no idea what is to come the next morning.

When she wakes up, she gets out of bed and she starts her day.


- M. Yang

Vengeance

Vengeance: Punishment that is inflicted in return for a wrong

When someone does us wrong, it's our natural instinct to strike revenge on them back. We feel the need to pull off some inhumane stunt so the person who has done us wrong will suffer even more than we have. This negative energy we have, illuminates the evil person within us. We unleash what we thought would never be unleash and we let out a monster that cannot be tamed.

Why do we do this?

We do it for the feeling of satisfaction. You may not admit it, but when the other person is hurt, we're satisfied that they are hurt because they've hurt us. But at the same time we feel compassion for them so we try our best to resolve the problem, and when the problem is resolved, the circle of vengeance and revenge resurfaces.

"There is no point in keeping vengeance or stubbornness." Don't let your pride control your emotions. When you seek vengeance, you are only wasting your time. Let vengeance walk away and you will find that it has only slowed you down in the past. So learn to forgive others and learn how to forgive yourself.

The only way to fight vengeance is to not fight it at all.





- Meng Yang

Technology of Life

My recent attempt to go a week without technology was a failure. Not because I wasn't able to do it, but because I found no point in doing it anymore. Sure, I was suppose to show that technology isn't everything, but the fact of the matter is, it is everything. As I went along with my week, the two days I went without technology only made me think about technology even more. It made me think about how much of life I was missing. It's not the technology itself that is my life, but the life inside the technology. For instance, my phone isn't my life but the people who matter most in my life are in my phone. And by shutting off my phone, I lost all contact with the people that mattered most to me. By not going on Facebook I had no clue what everyone was up to.

Attempting this experiment, I thought I would find myself more adventurous and a better person but that didn't happen. I isolated myself from the people who mattered most and the only adventure I could have was by myself. I wanted to share my adventure with my friends but I was unable to due to the lack of communication. Family and friends were not able to contact me if they needed me and that was a hassle on my part. I walked around with meaningless in my life and the only way I would have meaning back in my life was through communication through technology.

I figured that living life with nearly no source of communication with the people I care for the most wasn't living at all.

I asked myself the same question over and over, "Why am I trying to fight something that benefits everyone so well?" It's true that I did this experiment to see what it is like for kids in poverty to not have the type of communication and technology we have, but if we are able to provide them with the same items we have, their lives would evolve tremendously.

After the measly two days without technology, I came to a conclusion that I can live without technology, but I can't live without the people in my technology.

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

- Morrie Schwartz from the book Tuesdays with Morrie


---Meng Yang

She's just not that into you

When you fall from being up so high, you make sure you don't ever go up that high again. At some point you were so happy that you finally found a girl that is actually worth all the crap you have to go through. You stop talking to all the other girls in the world and focus completely on her. Even though everyone may think you're a "Player," you stop your flirtatious ways because for a moment, just a moment you feel like this girl is something special. She's something different and she's something you want a part of your life. Though you feel as the relationship will turn out to be something great; the truth is she's just not that into me.

The Black Suit

What I know isn't much but what I know is enough to get me by. There was a time in my life when I told myself I would never become the person I am today. Like life, things never go as plan. Throughout the thriving years I made many promises to myself that were never kept. As I look back at all of these careless promises I've made, I realized that not a single one has been kept. As Drake would say, "What am I doin' What am I doin' Oh, yeah, that's right, I'm doin' me." The truth is that I'm not doing me. This lifestyle isn't who I want to be and this person I am right now isn't who I wish to become. And the sad part is that I've grown accustomed to it like the black suit on Spiderman, turning him into someone he really isn't. But the feeling of this lifestyle is great, just as the feeling of the black suit on Spiderman made him stronger and made him careless about people. The power of the suit made him worry less about the world.

The lifestyle I live is like my black suit, it has made me care less about the people around me and it has made me only think about myself. I've become so selfish that all I think about is me. I stopped caring about the feelings of others and I turned into the complete opposite person of who I wanted to be when I was young.

Ring the bell and I will escape. I made one more promise to myself and it will not be broken. So what am I doin'? Oh, yeah, that's right, I'm doin 'me now.




~ Meng Yang
07/06/10